Nine snippets of wisdom for 2024

nine snippets of wisdom: "The deepest human need is the need to be appreciated." "Humans and stories need each other. We tell them, but they tell us too–reaching with soft hands and wide arms to pull us into their embrace. They do this especially when we have become mired in lives of which we can make no sense. We all need a path, and stories can sometimes usher us back to it." "Covering content does not lead to knowledge retention, understanding of information or how to apply it. It actually serves as a barrier to learning. It is only when attendees become participants with the content and use it, even if just in discussions, that the knowledge is retained and understanding happens." "Leadership is no longer part of a job description: something anointed on the chosen few. Leadership is a role to be adopted when needed, and then passed on when the need has gone. It's a dynamic thing, moving around the organisation, reshaping the organisation as it passes from individual to individual, team to team." "All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished." "If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." "The person you are just about to become is a stranger to you." "Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But since no one was listening, everything must be said again." "It’s easier to act our way into a new way of thinking, than think our way into a new way of acting."Here are nine old and new snippets of wisdom that spoke to me at some point in 2024. And a bonus at the end…

“Leadership is no longer part of a job description: something anointed on the chosen few. Leadership is a role to be adopted when needed, and then passed on when the need has gone. It’s a dynamic thing, moving around the organisation, reshaping the organisation as it passes from individual to individual, team to team.”
“Is your organisation irrelevant?”, Peter Evans-Greenwood, 2012

“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But since no one was listening, everything must be said again.”
Andre Gide, Treatise on Narcissus [Le Traité du Narcisse] (1891)

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, a very loose English paraphrase of his French poem Dessine-moi un bateau, or Make Me a Boat, found in Citadelle, 1948

“The person you are just about to become is a stranger to you.”
David Whyte via Viv McWaters, 2016

“Covering content does not lead to knowledge retention, understanding of information or how to apply it. It actually serves as a barrier to learning. It is only when attendees become participants with the content and use it, even if just in discussions, that the knowledge is retained and understanding happens.”
“Is Your Conference Guilty Of Content Bulimia?”, Jeff Hurt, 2013

“All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.”
Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 2015

“It’s easier to act our way into a new way of thinking, than think our way into a new way of acting.”
Jerry Sternin, The Power of Positive Deviance, 2010

“Humans and stories need each other. We tell them, but they tell us too–reaching with soft hands and wide arms to pull us into their embrace. They do this especially when we have become mired in lives of which we can make no sense. We all need a path, and stories can sometimes usher us back to it.”
Michael Marshall Smith, Hannah Green and Her Unfeasibly Mundane Existence, 2017

“The deepest human need is the need to be appreciated.”
— Attributed to William James, 1800s

BONUS: Nine practical tips for letting go in a chaotic world

19 secrets of consulting that changed my life

A photograph of a woman fortune teller holding a crystal ballYou may not think of yourself as a consultant, but you probably are. Peter Block, in his classic book Flawless Consulting, defines a consultant as someone who has influence but not the authority to make changes. While some, like myself, are full-time independent consultants, a much larger number of people are internal consultants: people who are employed by an organization that, at times, puts them in a role of giving advice without the power to implement it.

So, how do we learn how to consult well? I’ve written before about Jerry Weinberg’s ten laws of trust and his ten laws of pricing, taken from his brilliant book, published in 1985: The Secrets of Consulting: A Guide to Giving & Getting Advice Successfully. If these laws didn’t inspire you to rush out and buy the book, perhaps this selection of some of his (100+) other laws, rules, and principles will. I consider this book and the sequel, More Secrets of Consulting: The Consultant’s Tool Kit, essential reading (and rereading) for anyone who consults.

Here are nineteen of my favorite pieces of wisdom from Jerry, followed by the names he gives them and brief commentary from me.

You’ll never accomplish anything if you care who gets the credit.

The Credit Rule. Check your ego at the door.

In spite of what your client may tell you, there’s always a problem.

The First Law of Consulting. Yes, most people have a hard time admitting they have a problem.

No matter how it looks at first, it’s always a people problem.

The Second Law of Consulting. I learned this after about five years of being engaged as a technical consultant and repeatedly having CEOs confiding to me their non-technical woes…

If they didn’t hire you, don’t solve their problem.

The Fourth Law of Consulting. A common occupational disease of consultants: we rush to help people who haven’t asked for help.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

The First Law of Engineering. Must. Not. Unscrew the tiny screws just to check what’s inside.

Clients always know how to solve their problems, and always tell you the solution in the first five minutes.

The Five-Minute Rule. Unbelievably, this is true—the hard part is listening well enough to notice.

If you can’t accept failure, you’ll never succeed as a consultant.


The Hard Law. Everyone makes mistakes, and that can be a good thing.

Helping myself is even harder than helping others.

The Hardest Law. The hardest things to notice are things about myself.

The wider you spread it, the thinner it gets.

The Law of Raspberry Jam. Or, as Jerry rephrases it: Influence or affluence; take your choice.

When the clients don’t show their appreciation, pretend that they’re stunned by your performance—but never forget that it’s your fantasy, not theirs.

The Lone Ranger Fantasy. “Who was that masked man, anyway?”

The most important act in consulting is setting the right fee.

Marvin’s Fifth Great Secret. Setting the right fee takes a huge burden off your shoulders.

“We can do it—and this is how much it will cost.”

The Orange Juice Test. Jerry uses an example straight from the meetings world for this one—event professionals will recognize the situation, and appreciate the insight.

Cucumbers get more pickled than brine gets cucumbered.

Prescott’s Pickle Principle. Sadly, the longer you work with a client, the less effective you get.

It may look like a crisis, but it’s only the ending of an illusion.

Rhonda’s First Revelation. A positive way to think about unpleasant change.

When you create an illusion, to prevent or soften change, the change becomes more likely—and harder to take.

Rhonda’s Third Revelation. Notice and challenge your illusions before they turn into crises.

If you can’t think of three things that might go wrong with your plans, then there’s something wrong with your thinking.

The Rule of Three. The perfect antidote to complacency about your plans.

The best marketing tool is a satisfied client.

The Sixth Law of Marketing. Word of mouth is the best channel for new work; being able to satisfy my clients led me to a successful, twenty-two-year IT consulting career without using advertising or agents.

Give away your best ideas.

The Seventh Law of Marketing. When you teach your clients to handle future similar problems themselves, they’ll appreciate your generosity and are more likely to give you further work or good word of mouth to others.

Spend at least one-fourth of your time doing nothing.

The Ninth Law of Marketing. There are many good reasons for doing this—for some, read Slack: Getting Past Burnout, Busywork, and the Myth of Total Efficiency by Tom DeMarco.

Well, there they are, some of my favorite secrets of consulting, as penned by Jerry. What do you think of my choices? Are there others that speak to you?

Photo attribution: Flickr user sanspareille