Fake women event speakers? We need to think bigger!

illustration of the OpenAI logo dreaming up a fake eventFor heaven’s sake! Fake women event speakers? Fake articles by fake writers in Sports Illustrated? Meeting professionals: this is a golden opportunity! We need to think bigger! Yes, friends, it’s now obvious that what our industry needs is…fake events!

Think about it for a moment.

Fake speakers

Creating fake women speakers is just one tiny step in the right direction. Think big! How hard is it to make all your speakers fake? OK, so some intrepid journalists took the time to discover that a few women speakers featured on a conference website don’t exist. Well, no one’s going to bother to do that for your male speakers, because everyone expects that men will be the vast majority of your headliners. So you have nothing to lose! Make all your speakers fake!

Fake attendees

The next logical step: create fake attendees! Lots of them! We are all impressed by those huge events that everyone who is everyone has to attend for FOMO. And getting people to register and actually attend events these days is a ton of work. Hard work! Instead, simply have ChatGPT generate a long list of impressive attendees. Be sure to ask for a good mix of ethnic names, genders, and geographical regions, together with impressive job titles at big-name companies. Ten minutes work, tops! Your event is already a success! And it hasn’t even happened yet!

Fake events

At this point, the final step should be obvious. Putting together a successful event, in-person, online, or, heaven-forbid, hybrid is HARD! It takes time. It costs money!

Give yourself a break! Stop running yourself ragged designing, preparing, and running real events.

Instead, create fake events!

Here are some of the advantages of fake events over real ones.

  • No pesky people to hire, fire, and pay!
  • Ditto, contractors! Goodbye, logistics! No more negotiating with F&B suppliers, transportation services, in-house production, etc. (Don’t get me started on in-house production.)
  • Zero expenses! The only tool you need is ChatGPT—and it’s free! (For now.)
  • High status! Post about your well-attended and prestigious fake events on X and LinkedIn and see your stature in the #eventprofs community soar! Don’t forget to have your fake attendees rave about their experiences (again, think ChatGPT) too!

It’s a no-brainer—right?!

A final word

If everything I’ve said still hasn’t convinced you to sit down at your computer, or even your phone, and start pumping out fake events, here’s one more point to bear in mind.

We may all be living in a simulation! Yes, I know it sure seems like we’ve been laboriously creating amazing events for years. But what if we’re just ones and zeros in a supercomputer, programmed by some teenage wunderalien who has nothing better to do?

In other words, you may have been designing, preparing, and running fake events your whole (simulated) life!

Now you’re aware of this, is there any reason not to create fake events?

Unless of course you, dear reader, are fake too.

Hello? Is there anybody there?

Hello?

He can only do Segar

The author, Adrian Segar, at around 12 years old, wearing his school uniform
How does what someone says about me influence my life? Who am I really? How can I be myself? What does it even mean to “be myself”?

The school play

Educated during our teens to be total nerds, we had little time for anything but science and math at Dulwich College. So we were thrilled when our English teacher said we could put on a play. We wrote a script and I got to act. I can’t remember what the play was about, but I recall my excitement about wearing different clothes instead of our obligatory school uniform.

The play ended, and as we left the theatre I overheard my teacher talking about me to another teacher. “Oh, Segar,” he said. “He can only do Segar.”

I was crushed. I felt terrible because I thought I had acted well. And here was my teacher saying that I was just the usual Segar he knew.

I can’t act

For the next forty-five years (!) I took what my teacher said as a declaration that I wasn’t good at acting. My self-esteem was bound up with being seen as good at doing things. I couldn’t act! So I avoided opportunities to play being someone different, and perhaps, in the process, discover something new about myself.

I dare to try improv

Sparked by years of cautious personal development, I finally dared to try some improv work. I enjoyed the improv exercises snuck into various experiential workshops, including some of the (no-longer held) annual Amplifying Your Effectiveness experiential workshops (sample). Eventually, I became brave enough to take a three-day introductory improv workshop at BATS in San Francisco, and have participated in a number of improv workshops and conferences since then.

I’ve discovered that, actually, I can act! In both senses of the word! And, just like when I was a teenager, I enjoy it!

These days, I don’t see doing improv as being someone different from who I am. Rather, I see it as a tool for exploring different things about myself, playing with others, and having fun.

Can I be myself?

I now interpret what my teacher said in a positive way. He may not have meant this, but I hear what he said as a compliment. “He is who he is.” Not a fake persona, not someone trying to be someone he’s not.

That’s who I want to be, myself. Everyone else is already taken.

Three differences between genuine and phony experiential events

phony experiential conferences: an illustration of an excited audience with the word "phony" in front of them“Experiential” is the new hot adjective used to describe events. “No more listening to speakers; you’re going to have experiences!” But there are genuine and phony experiential conferences.

Sadly, many so-called experiential events are phony. The promoters slap a novel environment (e.g., clowns walking around or chairs suspended from the ceiling) onto a conventional format (e.g., a social or a group discussion) and claim their event is now “experiential”.

So what are the differences between genuine and phony experiential conferences?

Here are three.

At a genuine experiential conference…

Participants’ experiences satisfy their actual in-the-moment wants and needs

People attend conferences to learn and connect. They arrive with specific personal challenges for which they hope to get help and support. For example,

“I’m having a hard time handling my boss’s unrealistic expectations of what I can accomplish.”

“Our security system needs an upgrade and I’m overwhelmed by the choices available.”

“Are there other people here with whom I can explore how AR is going to impact our jobs?”

Hiring clowns to walk around and entertain attendees or immersing attendees in an elaborately themed environment does nothing to help attendees learn and connect around the issues and topics that matter to them. (Rare exception: an environment designed to dramatize and support the exploration of known concerns.)

Uncovering participants’ challenges, interests, expertise, experience, and passions early at the event and then building conferences that respond directly leads to genuine experiential conferences that effectively satisfy attendee needs.

Participants’ experiences significantly impact their lives

If you go to a professional conference and nothing significant changes in your professional life as a result, what was the point of attending? Yes, you might have had a good time and been entertained, but you can get that faster and cheaper by eating out at a great restaurant, watching a good movie, or attending a show or concert. (And “I had a great time” is likely not the kind of justification for attending your boss wants to hear.)

Design genuine experiential conferences to deliver experiences that change professional lives by:

  • Effectively connecting attendees with relevant colleagues (no more lunches sitting next to strangers with whom you have little in common); and
  • Providing sessions that meet real wants and needs, and which use formats that support appropriate interaction, discovery, and active learning.

Participants enjoy group experiences that build a community around conference commonalities

“Experiential” event programs today feature “experiences” like SoulCycle, axe throwing, and wine tastings. Sessions like these are, of course, experiences — as is all of life. What such sessions fail to do is build any kind of event community around the theme or constituency of the conference. So, at a phony experiential event, having a good time with colleagues qualifies the event as “experiential”.

In contrast, genuinely experiential conferences include group experiences that deepen learning and connection around pertinent material, and, in the process, build community that speaks to the wants and needs of the participants.

Examples? Hold sessions where attendees work together to solve carefully chosen topical or individual challenges. Or, include a closing session where participants share what was great about the entire event and how it could be made even better.

A genuine conclusion

Putting attendees in a novel environment does not make a meeting “experiential”. Genuine experiential events use active uncovered learning formats that maximize the likelihood of meaningful learning and connection for each attendee.

There’s nothing wrong with razzle-dazzle environments, except when they (all too often) divert money, energy, and focus from what’s important. Instead, concentrate time and resources on functional meeting design that provides genuinely useful and meaningful experiences to participants.