assholes

In 2023, I published a widely-read post about dealing with (metaphorical) assholes, potholes, and black holes. The advice I gave was about how to best handle personal interactions with assholes. Currently, however, the world has many assholes in positions of power, where they can and are doing tremendous damage to society.

Dealing with powerful assholes (PAs) who are affecting many lives through societal manipulations requires some different approaches.

First, though, here’s a reminder of how to deal with assholes in your personal life:

“The best way to deal with assholes is to avoid them whenever possible. If you can’t, then don’t confront them; they love that. Instead, ignore them. If you have to interact with one, set boundaries on the time you’ll be with them and what you will tolerate. This can be tough, so remember that their assholeness is their problem, not yours.

Remember that assholes are not happy people. Though it’s hard to do, if you can feel compassion for an asshole you’re with, it will help you deal with their behavior better. And it may (don’t count on it) help them be slightly less asshole-like with you.”
—Adrian Segar, Assholes, potholes, and black holes, May, 2023

When dealing with PAs, most of the above advice is still relevant.

Ignore powerful assholes selectively

Ignoring PAs is important when they are trying to get reactions from those they are trying to vilify or rile up. Assholes are cruel, sick people who enjoy seeing others suffer. By not responding emotionally when they spout theatrical nonsense or lies, you avoid buying into their attempts to make you suffer. Yes, this can be hard to do. Reminding yourself that their assholeness is their problem, not yours, can help.

Since his inauguration, the 47th U.S. President [47] — a quintessential PA — has been issuing a torrent of Executive Orders (EOs) that are an archetypal embodiment of PA cruelty. Under such a constant bombardment, it’s hard to remember that many of his EOs are meaningless or illegal. Each EO is designed to elicit a nasty emotional effect on those who are disgusted with this man, but much of what he says has little or no connection with what he does. I am not minimizing the very real damage 47 is inflicting on individuals, the United States, and the world. Rather, I’m saying that we need to tune out the performative cruel statements of PAs and focus on combatting and resisting the very real destruction they cause (see below).