Trust matters more than ever to me. In a world that is complex and often overwhelming, building trusted relationships has become essential. As I reflect on my various connections—from intimate and life-changing relationships to countless daily interactions—I realize that trust is the cornerstone of my well-being. It’s little wonder that I have moved to valuing trust more and more over time.
It wasn’t always this way. In my youth, when I had plenty of energy and finances were tight, I often based my choice of professional relationships—whether buying products or services—on financial considerations alone. Most of the time, this strategy worked out fine. But occasionally, it led to unpleasant surprises.
I dealt with large organizations that turned out to be less than forthright. Their polished advertising and marketing were seductive, but the fine print, if it existed, often hid unpleasant surprises. The price of choosing based on cost alone was increased vigilance and stress. When things went wrong, I was left to navigate misunderstandings and unmet expectations.
Finding those I can trust
In contrast, my experiences with individuals and small companies were significantly better. These smaller entities usually understood the value of delivering on their promises. They knew that failing to do so would jeopardize future work. When things didn’t go according to plan, they were willing to discuss the issue and find a fair resolution. In short, they did what was necessary to make things right.
Over the years, I built up a network of people I could trust. My website developer, who can handle the infrequent but knotty problems I can’t resolve, despite my IT background. The garage owner who reliably fixes our cars. The guy who picks up our trash. The small local company that plows our gravel driveway, fixes it when heavy rain washes it out, and mows the lawn.
It’s not that price is no longer a consideration for me. I still look for value and buy commodity products as inexpensively as possible. However, I continue to support local sellers of food, services, and hardware, even though they may not be the cheapest places to shop.
Some insights about trust
One of my favorite insights comes from Jerry Weinberg‘s book The Secrets of Consulting, in the chapter How to be trusted:
“Trust takes years to win, moments to lose.”
This resonates deeply with me. Trust isn’t something that can be easily regained once it’s lost.
I’ve also learned a couple of things about hiring experts. The key to choosing the best professional help often lies in their honesty. When an expert, like a business colleague or a doctor, can admit, “I don’t know,” it’s a sign of reliability and integrity. This humility is a cornerstone of trust.
Trust, I’ve learned, isn’t uniform across all areas of expertise. For instance, as I get older, my memory becomes less reliable, and I’m more likely to share opinions or recollections that aren’t entirely accurate. Recognizing and communicating the limits of one’s knowledge and expertise is crucial in maintaining trust.
The level of trust can change over time. Take Twitter, for example. My trust in the platform shifted dramatically after the Elon Musk [“Civil war is inevitable”] acquisition. Changes in ownership, rules, and organizational culture influence the trustworthiness of any product or service.
Social media, in general, presents a complex landscape for trust. Its trustworthiness is influenced by its structure, rules, level of moderation, and ownership culture. While disagreements about facts are inevitable, the degree to which these disagreements occur, and how much we can trust what people post depends significantly on these factors.
And consider the trust infants place in their parents or caregivers. This unequivocal trust can lead to either healthy or unhealthy development. As adults, blindly trusting others is seldom a recipe for a healthy life. It’s essential to build trust based on experience, reliability, and integrity.
In conclusion, trust is a precious and fragile commodity. Trust matters! As I navigate life, I’ve come to value trusted relationships more than ever, understanding that they are essential for a fulfilling and less stressful existence.
Image attribution: Flickr user Bennilover under a CC BY-ND 2.0 license